Here's how to create more peace and stability at home with children
“Stop now! I'll send you to your room if you do that again! I want you to clean up right now!! If you continue like this you shouldn't...!” What on earth do you do as a parent when yelling, screaming, threatening, commanding... doesn't help?
As parents, we have usually already 'tried' a lot. But unfortunately this only works for a short time and you quickly fall back into your old pattern of responding. You also keep seeing that negative behavior from your child. You know what you should do, but putting it into practice and actually sticking with it is very difficult.
It is important that we work on the child's behavior and see a change (improvement) in this in the long term. Here are some tips to help you get started.
Use I messages
“YOU are really naughty” YOU never want to listen! YOU… This communication with your child evokes resistance and more resistance. It leads to even more hassle and arguments. Use a clear I message: “I wish that… I get nervous when you… I don't like it when you… I can't make pancakes with that noise… I… When you share something of yourself with your child, you an appeal to his/her helpfulness. Moreover, it also appears less threatening.
The soothing power of music
Mom Sofie: “We once bought a CD in an amusement park with all the quiet songs. Whenever things get busy at home, I put on that CD. It has really become our 'relaxation music' and a wonderful way to unwind. An ideal way to de-stimulate.” Also take a look on the internet for meditation and relaxation music; you will find a lot there.
Solve problems together and listen to your child with attention
Have a conversation about recurring irritations and difficult situations. Don't try to solve everything yourself. Find solutions that work together. This way you also work on more connection and the stronger the connection, the more peace in the house.
Also know that children are often more difficult when their parents are busy. Children feel the hustle and bustle of their parents. As a parent, suppress the tendency to rush and provide moments of connection, because that is precisely the basis of peace in the home.
(FVDV for Tagtik/llustration picture: Unsplash)
