Society

Failing to find true love in the street, some women try dating sites. Open to all, they free desires, sometimes a little too vividly! Then come the daring and embarrassing photos. Without being warned, it can be very unpleasant to be confronted with images of men's private body parts. Entertainment or abuse? The line is very easily crossed.

The phenomenon of men sending photos of their private parts or libidinous selfies is not uncommon on social media networks and online dating sites. "According to a survey conducted in 2018 by YouGov, 53% of women aged 18 to 36 and 35% of 35-54 year-olds have received a revealing photo'. Over 55 years old, this proportion drops to 8%," underlines Vif Weekend. Many women wonder about this curious need to exhibit their sex at all costs and in such an unpredictable way.

In fact, the reasons that push some men to expose themselves in such a way are varied. Some mention a need to be reassured about the quality of their 'tool', others see it as a simple way to spice up the virtual relationship. For others, it's also a question of provoking a positive reaction from their interlocutor and possibly getting her to reproduce the same revealing photo. Need for recognition or simply desire for distraction, this gesture is not insignificant. In France, a candidate for mayor of Paris had to give up his job following the public exposure of intimate videos of the same kind.

Jasmine Steurbaut, sexologist and psychologist, specifies in Vif Weekend, that some men "are really very proud of their private parts, which becomes an element of boasting for them." As a kind of unspoken principle, men are expected to impress and show off to women in particular. It turns out that this kind of sexual photo symbolizes a desire to impress. "These gentlemen wrongly imagine that these photos excite the other person, when it's quite the opposite. This is called 'sexual overperception': many men overestimate their own attractiveness, which leads them to misinterpret the signals of the opposite sex," adds Jasmine Steurbaut. The misinterpretation of signs (smile, kind word) activates men's imagination, convinced that they are facing a seductress, ready to see their attributes.

Even if most women take a step back and put this kind of awkward confrontation into perspective, by blocking their contact for example, it's essential not to trivialize this gesture. Because it's indeed a question of sexual harassment. Between laughter and trauma, reactions remain diverse and specific to each person's sensitivity. The power of these photos should not be minimized. If justice has not yet ruled on the subject, for some, it would be high time to establish a legal framework and a support system. The youngest are the main victims of confusion between pure sexual practice and the need to feed a romantic, sentimental relationship. This type of photo could become a kind of obligation to keep the relationship alive and especially to arouse the interest of the loved one.

"In the YouGov survey, about 10% of people who received 'erotic' photos (the quotation marks are important) say they asked for them," explains Le Vif Weekend. So, if and only if the context is favorable and there is mutual consent, let's have fun! But, in uncertainty, there's no point in undressing.

(MH with AsD - Source: Le Vif Weekend - Illustration: Pixabay)